i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
