Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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