If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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