Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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