It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
