I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
