doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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