Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
