seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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