Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
