Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
