I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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