garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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