k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
