I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
