Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
