I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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