Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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