I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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