Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
