I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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