He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I need water and some morals
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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