I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
