Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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