Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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