I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
