I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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