We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
