She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
