The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
