Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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