You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
