I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
