My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
