seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
