Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
two words...techno handjob
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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