I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
