I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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