I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
