He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
