everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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