the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
