puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
