hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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