We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
