I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I think my vagina is haunted
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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