She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
