thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
