dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
