I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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