I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
