Do vagina's smell?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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